5 Comments

Five Sentence Fiction — Limitless

Monday is when I tackle some Five Sentence Fiction. Feel free to take Lillie McFerrin’s challenge to write a five sentence story based on a single word prompt. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just used for direction. This week’s word is Limitless.

Here’s my offering:

The disappointments seemed limitless having been through an endless parade of epically bad first dates, two broken engagements, one divorce, two knee replacements, suffered the early onset of male pattern baldness, endured a lifelong hearing loss in his left ear, an apparently perpetual case of flatulence and he had just recently developed an uncontrollable tic that fleetingly contorts his face into a ridiculous grimace without warning. His most recent girlfriend (correction, ex-girlfriend) had stolen his wallet and he had to go through the whole hassle of canceling all of his credit cards, changing every password (his cheat sheet with the sign-in information to all of his online accounts was tucked in his bill fold with about $64 in cash) not to mention the pain of getting a new driver’s license and replacement social security card. Warren (even his name—Warren Peese—was a bit of a cruel joke that his parents had visited upon him at birth) approached his slightly battered green sedan to find a pink $50 parking ticket waving at him from beneath the driver side wiper arm, unaware that he had blocked a fire hydrant when he parked last night.

He was late for work but he found an open parking space  and pumped the meter full with two hour’s worth of quarters before noticing the sign that said, “Meter broken.” Warren had a feeling that today was the day he would leave all that misery behind, that his life was about to be significantly altered as he stepped into the small mini-mart and slapped two dollars down on the scarred Formica counter saying, “I’ll take one Powerball ticket, please.”
powerball display

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5 comments on “Five Sentence Fiction — Limitless

  1. One can only hope life gets better for him!

  2. I feel his pain. I’ve done the “lottery ticket to freedom” ride a few times. Funny how it never worked out for me. I hope it works better for Warren!

  3. Nice one – as good as I’ve come to expect from you. 🙂

    I did find some things that struck me as tweakable:
    1. The joke about his name – I can see the appeal but it sits kind of oddly as it currently is.
    2. That last bit – love it but there is no sense of “but” between those last two lines, making the change from bad luck to hopeful feel a wee bit jarring and awkward even though the concept is sound in principle here.

    Haven’t seen you around my site much, just asking cos you were among the folks I sort of got used to regularly seeing having dropped by in my loony little online home. Hope it means you’ve been keeping busy with good things in the non-line world.

    Cheers! 🙂

    • Spider–

      Thanks for the honest feedback. As always it is appreciated. I was kind of going for irony in that here is a loser who is perpetually being dealt the crummy hand and he honestly and ignorantly thinks that his will be the winning lottery ticket.

      I have been lurking but I have been a bit distracted lately. Fear not you are always on my radar. I’ll be sure to pop in more often and leave you note!

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