5 Comments

Five Sentence Fiction — Desolate

Monday is when I tackle some Five Sentence Fiction. Feel free to take Lillie McFerrin’s challenge to write a five sentence story based on a single word prompt. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just used for direction. This week’s word is Desolate.

Spooky Road
Here’s my offering:

The engine light had been on for a while but he kept driving and then the intermittent clunking began, a shudder every minute or two at first but it quickly ratcheted up to a constant rattle-clanking until the loud painful screech of something metal seizing up wailed in the dark and everything went dead. The dome light wouldn’t come on when he opened the door and the starter didn’t even make that clicking noise when he turned the key; no electric locks, no headlights, no flashers, nothing but him, a useless hunk of machinery, and the smothering darkness on this desolate stretch of crumbling roadway—oh, and add the blood chilling screech of a fox or some other hungry nocturnal beast. Gavin popped and lifted the hood despite having no mechanical experience, only to be confronted by a whiff of ozone and melted rubber as a cool breeze played across the back of his neck, drawing a shiver down his spine right before the words were spoken from behind him, “You need help?”

Jesus, you scared me half to death!” Gavin said almost reflexively as he whipped around finding himself facing a beautiful, raven haired woman who seemed to be lit from within and was smiling from behind a pair of full crimson lips.

“Only half?” she said when the razor flashed and as his life leaked from his throat Gavin’s Honda inexplicably rumbled to life, the headlights suddenly spotlighting a pair of receding devil red pumps.

 Got five sentences? Share them!

If you enjoy flash fiction challenges stop by each week to participate in my writing challenge offered every Tuesday. Take your pick from two, yes that’s right, two different prompts that I will be providing right here weekly.

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5 comments on “Five Sentence Fiction — Desolate

  1. Wow! I enjoyed it very much! I love the build up, the picture you chose really hits home the desolation, and the ending is powerful.This is awesome. 🙂

    • Thanks Pamela. I had drafted something completely different and wasn’t happy with it and came up with this. I appreciate your feedback. Thanks for stopping by!

  2. I love the picture; it really adds to the predicament of your character. What a powerful, evil ending! Love the phrase ‘as his life leaked from his throat’; says all it has to in such a descriptive way. x

  3. The raven hair was a dead giveaway. Evil women always have raven hair. Especially ones that wear red shoes. Trust me, I’ve dated that woman.

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