12 Comments

Five Sentence Fiction — Time

Tuesday is when I tackle some Five Sentence Fiction. Feel free to take Lillie McFerrin’s challenge to write a five sentence story based on a single word prompt. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just used for direction. This week’s word is Time.

photos on Mantel
Here is my offering:

He looked down at his hands and found them to be much older in appearance than he remembered as if the years had given a lurch when he wasn’t paying attention, or maybe it was just a trick of the low angled sunlight. A pervasive hollowness had invaded and the hurt knocked freely and noisily about inside before settling in the joints. Carl slowly got up and walked over to the picture on the mantel wondering if it had really been four years; it seemed as if time had halted. Birthdays were the worst, she would have been twelve today, he thought. No one should have to bury their child.

Got five sentences? Share them!

photo:thinkstock
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12 comments on “Five Sentence Fiction — Time

  1. That’s a great line “as if the years had given a lurch”. So true! A sad one, but a very perceptive insight into the actual ‘pain’ of grief. Nice work.

  2. Thanks for your comments. I have no idea what it must truly be like to lose a child, especially a young one, but I am no stranger to grief so I can imagine. The trick is to imagine it believably. I’m so glad you stopped by!

  3. Very descriptive and also sad. I really liked the line about his joints. Well done Andy.

    • Yeah, I feel like I’ve been too light the past couple of weeks and it was time for a more somber entry. I’m so glad to see you’re still knocking about. Thanks for stopping by. As always the comments are very much appreciated!

  4. Very believable Andy, and I really liked the pervasive hollowness and the hurt knocking about freely…such an awful situation, but so well put.

  5. Very true..”.A pervasive hollowness had invaded and the hurt knocked freely and noisily about inside” as one that has been there and still grieving this is the truest and most understanding words I have read in along time…thank you andy

  6. should have been” these are the truest words” sorry for the improper grammer.

  7. You wrote so very well of the pain, how very physical it must feel, how devastating, how meaningless time becomes after that. Excellent piece!

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