Five Sentence Fiction — Flawed

Tuesday is when I tackle some Five Sentence Fiction. Feel free to take Lillie McFerrin’s challenge to write a five sentence story based on a single word prompt. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just used for direction. This week’s word is Flawed.

Here is my offering:

Everything was perfect.  A personal chef was hired who had developed an inspired menu: lobster bisque for the first course, caramelized sea scallops on a bed of mushroom and truffle risotto for the second followed by a melt-in-your-mouth filet mignon dressed with blue cheese and a side of artichoke hearts, and finally a dessert of warm, tender, freshly made donut holes served with coffee flavored whipped cream. He set the table with their best china and silver, lit the candles, decanted the wine and put on the rented tux while the chef began clattering around in the kitchen—their house had never smelled so delicious.

Jakob waited anxiously for Annalisa to walk in the door when he would surprise her with a bouquet of roses and a gourmet dinner being prepared right in their own home. He wasn’t aware of the flaw in his plan until his wife called from her mother’s house in tears; their anniversary had been last week.

Got five sentences? Share them!

photo:x-kai photography, deviant art

22 comments on “Five Sentence Fiction — Flawed

  1. Oh my gosh! What a twist, flawed ? hmmm more like skewered. 🙂

  2. So realistic: we feel for him, and of course for his wife too, malediction! But a nice piece of domestic fiction 🙂

  3. Oh no! The poor guy. I hope she forgives him-he obviously loves her tremendously.

  4. Ha-ha, having been on the receiving end of that (the forgetfulness, not the gourmet dinner), I really enjoyed the story. Might have to share it with my husband!

  5. Uh, that reminds me – I have to put a note on my calendar…

  6. Aw, I hope she comes running home! You always make me feel for your characters! Great writing Andy.

  7. Oh. Dang. Seriously, A for effort even if he did miss that mark by a whole lot. Great story!

  8. I’m surprised she didn’t instantly forgive him and come running home. High maintenance?…

  9. Oh no! But she’s have to forgive him, wouldn’t she …. ?

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