13 Comments

Five Sentence Fiction — Awkward

Tuesday is when I tackle some Five Sentence Fiction. Feel free to take Lillie McFerrin’s challenge to write a five sentence story based on a single word prompt. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just used for direction. This week’s word is Awkward.

Here’s my contribution for this week:

Darlene was fidgeting with her wine, Stuart was a pathetic conversationalist and they were enduring yet another long awkward silence as she watched him pop a piece of calamari into his mouth. There was no question that he was great looking: bushy hair, eyes the color of lapis, perfect teeth, rock hard pecs and abs—a poster child for any gym—and a cute ass to boot but, let’s face it, he wasn’t exactly eating with a full set of silverware. In fact, she was thinking, Stu probably doesn’t even know what silverware is, metaphorically speaking, and so she was beginning to have her doubts about asking him for a “contribution.” 

Nick, a mutual friend, was now crossing the restaurant to their table; he finished roughly wiping his nose on the heel of hand before slapping Stuart on the back and sitting down with a wink asking, “Hey Stud, so did Darlene, here, ask you to father her unborn child yet?” Darlene simply dropped her head onto crossed arms and groaned as Stuart fingered another morsel of squid into his mouth and then sucked a bit of red cocktail sauce from his thumb.

Got five sentences? Share them!

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13 comments on “Five Sentence Fiction — Awkward

  1. Both men sound absolutely delightful! Such richness of vernacular in this: ‘eating with a full set of silverware’ . Great descriptions, great piece. I’m sure either of them would be prepared to oblige with a ‘contribution’ but she’d be wiser to pass. Nice work.

  2. Ahahaha. This cracked me up so much. Nice job describing the men! This sounded like an episode from a sitcom. Nicely done.

  3. She needs new friends. Your description made me smile, especially how he so inelegantly wiped his nose! I always enjoy your writing!

    • Thanks so much for your kind words. Sometimes you are blessed with great friends, sometimes you pick good friends and sometimes you get stuck with peculiar friends. she seems to be firmly rooted in that third category. I am not like either of those guys by the way ; ]

  4. Oh, the visuals in this piece, haha! Poor woman 🙂 You always have just the right touch of humor in your writing!!

    • I am so glad you enjoyed it. Humor can be tricky. Sometimes what seems funny to me may fall flat or is lost on others, so it is always encouraging to hear when it is working. Thanks for stopping by!

  5. Well… a slice of contemporary behaviour? A wonderful piece that makes me proud to be a neanderthal! Well done! 😀

  6. Not as lost as I was in the last one 😀
    Nice story, got me thinking, good sense of levity to the approach too – but somehow felt very abrupt as a start and a finish. The end more so I think. Perhaps had this been more than 5 sentences it might have finished stronger but within that limitation I can’t think of how to change that abruptness without adding a sentence or creating a needlessly run-on sentence. 😛
    I have to admit, one thing I like about your fiction is the one thing I strive for in mine – variety of genre, perspective, style and tone. Kudos.

    • Thanks. I try to mix it up. FSF is a place where I can experiment with ideas, language, genres and find out what works, and where my strengths and weaknesses are. As always thanks for the feedback and for stopping by!

  7. […] Five Sentence Fiction – Awkward (andyswordsandpictures.wordpress.com) […]

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