20 Comments

Five Sentence Fiction — Scarlet

Tuesday is when I tackle some Five Sentence Fiction. Feel free to take Lillie McFerrin’s challenge to write a five sentence story based on a single word prompt. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just used for direction. This week’s word is Scarlet.

Here is my offering:

The darkness settled around them like a fog, soft and comforting, separating one from the other while at the same time uniting them. Each face turned upward, an island of hope and wonder. Confusion rose from the center like a poisonous vapor. And then—bang—chaos ripped and thundered through the night with maniacal disregard. His heart was tattooed black on the inside and he left the aisles stained scarlet.

I am profoundly troubled by the shooting in Aurora, CO. My thoughts and prayers go out to those touched by such madness.

Got five sentences? Share them!

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20 comments on “Five Sentence Fiction — Scarlet

  1. This was a fitting five for the prompt, and a fitting tribute to such an atrocity. There is no respite for those loved ones…no sense to be made.

  2. Beautiful piece. I live in Aurora, CO, and we are all very much affected by what happened, but it isn’t all bad, either. We seem to have a renewed sense that each day could be our last, and it’s making us kinder (even to strangers), more patient, charitable. Yet, I still don’t understand how anyone does these things.

    I’m sharing this on my personal Facebook page so that my CO friends can see it.

    • I am glad to hear there is a silver lining to all of this. There is no explanation for this kind atrocity. Again, my thoughts and prayers go out to the entire city.

  3. That was a very brave submission and extremely well crafted.

  4. Not only a superb use of the prompt, but an eloquent and powerful statement on the tragedy. Excellent work.

  5. Author! Author! Bravo! Bravo!

  6. To be honest, I did what I like to normally and that is just read the story first and your words around it AFTER that. Didn’t realise at first it was in any fashion connected to the shooting, though it definitely inspired some imagery that conjured a connect.
    Very intense, very raw and very stark – I think it was a good piece. Not much by itself though, I would say it’s the kind of descriptiveness and wording that would work brilliantly in a story.
    Cheers..

  7. I too, read it twice. It was when I read ‘aisles’ that I connected it and it certainly sent a shiver down my spine. I thought it was very fitting and an apt description of something we’ll never really understand. Well put Andy.

    • Thank you for the kind words. I wanted to take a poetic approach to the description rather than a more concrete one. If it made you read it twice then I think that makes me happy. Reading it twice is better than giving up halfway through.

  8. First thought was a wedding gone horribly wrong but . . .The clues are there. I read it again after reading your thoughts about the shooting and understood completely how they were united (all there for the same purpose) yet separate (not knowing anyone other than those they went with). It’s amazing the feelings you have given the reader in such a short paragraph on an awful situation.

  9. Intense, powerful, raw… a wonderful tribute! It really packed a punch!

  10. A fitting five sentences. Well crafted with respect. Well done!!

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